Catholic Charities of the Diocese of Sioux City at 1601 Military Road, Sioux City, IA 51103 US - Life Tips
Life Tips
Parenting
Communicate Rather Than Ordering
Parenting can be a frustrating role for anyone from time to time. Sometimes, do you think that all you are accomplishing is giving orders? While parenting involves saying "no" sometimes, there are some ways to nix the negative while getting the same outcome. Here are a few examples of requesting in a positive manner:
"Remember, running is for outside," instead of "Don't run in the house!"
"Be gentle, pet the puppy like this," instead of "Don't hurt that dog!"
"I'll trade this toy for that book," instead of "Give me that book!"
Constantly Consistent - (almost)
No one can be consistent 100% of the time - but, it is a good goal to strive for. We feel secure and have less anxiety when we have a degree of certainty with the basics of life. Children rely on parents for a sense of security and well-being. Strive to put the following into practice consistently when parenting:
-Promises made will be kept.
-Adult follow-through on consequences for behavior problems
-Family rituals - meal times, prayers at night, holidays
-Family rules apply at home and in the community
Effective Praise
Everyone likes to have positive feedback to let them know they are on the right track. Children thrive on adult approval as they grow. This bulids confidence and gives them a healthy sense of self and respect for others.
Effective praise should...
-Be sincere
-Note the behavior that is being praised
-Immediately follow the behavior
-Describe why the praise is being given, Be brief
Some examples:
- "John, I feel so happy when you rinse your dishes and put them in the dishwasher. It makes our family team run so much smoother!"
- "Henrietta, I liked how you helped your little brother with his reading. It shows you care about him. I love that about you."
- "Boys, helping your Dad with the mowing is a real time saver. He appreciates it and it makes the farm look great - thanks!"
Relationships
Treating Others as We Want to be Treated
When you have a goal of making your relationship with those you care about even more special, it is important to examine how you interact with them.
What puts up barriers in communication:
-Harsh words spoken to deliberately cause pain
-Hiding your thoughts and feelings and emotionally ambushing when they fail to read your mind
-Offering criticism without love and sensitivity
-Stoning with silence
-Becoming defensive instead of listening
What works:
-Listening to understand what the other thinks and feels
-Accepting that their thoughts and feelings are as valid as your own
-Showing them how important they are in ways that they will appreciate
-Forgiving and asking for forgiveness
Fair Fighting Yields a Fair Resolution - Steps to settling a disagreement:
-Meet in a private area to avoid distractions
-Speak one at a time and only about the issue at hand
-Really listen to each other, not to counteract, but to understand and feel each other's point of view
-Repeat the other's point of view to confirm your understanding and their view
-Repeat this process as needed until each view is understood
-Look for common ground in order to come to a constructive solution
-Develop options
-Identify options that are acceptable and honor both persons
-Choose the appropriate option