Diocese of Covington - Messenger at 402 E. 21st Street, Covington, KY 41015 US - Viewpoint

 I get to listen to a lot of new music since I have a young daughter. We were driving back home from visiting Grandma when a Nickelback song came on the radio. It was just the two of us on a 300-mile ride, and I started thinking about how my daughter would remember me if today was my last day. Shortly after that, I saw a roadside sign for the Russell Stover Store. I wondered aloud to Mary, “What do you suppose that store is like?” She said that she had always seen the sign on the way back and forth to Grandma’s, and she had always wanted to stop. I guess she never mentioned it because we’re always in such a hurry to get there, or to get home.

Is this how my daughter will remember me, too busy to stop for chocolate? Well, we did stop, and Mary got a small bag of gummie bears while I got sugar-free hard candies. No chocolate, but we both finally knew just what that Russell Stover Store was like. It felt great to share the experience. Having set aside my timeline, we proceeded to stop for lunch, and then we stopped at a brand new outlet mall just to explore. Most of the stores weren’t even open yet, but we had a great time and planned to return to do some Christmas shopping.  We got caught in a traffic jam brought on by a fast summer downpour, but we called Dad and told him we’d be a little late, so we’d just grab something easy when we got home.

Rather than complaining about the long, boring drive, my daughter told me how much she enjoyed the trip back home. Unfortunately, we can’t build relationships in one day. The old saying, ‘Live everyday like it was your last’ is nearly impossible for most of us. Even if we take a day to “stop and smell the roses,” we have to do double-time to catch up the next day.  My generation invented the idea that quality time is more important than quantity time, in an attempt to assuage our guilt at being too busy for our kids.

While visiting Grandma we talked about Great Grandpa LeDuc and Great-Great Aunt Helen. I have such good memories of both of them. My memories are based on relationship things: playing cards with my grandpa, the sound of his voice which was made rough by a stroke, my great-aunt making a big meal at lunchtime and not dinner, always showing her latest jewelry creations and giving me whatever I admired. The time I spent in the company of these long-gone family members is etched in my heart. They are with me always.

Perhaps my daughter will talk about me lovingly the way that I talk about them. But I am aware of how much goes into our relationship. Since I put in so much impatience, tiredness, criticism and worry, I also must put in even more time, joy, praise and confidence.  I do not need to teach my daughter to be successful. She will find her way to her own definition of success. I do not have to teach my daughter to play sports. All kids know how to play, we just need to get out of the way and let them have fun. Besides, so few ever become star athletes in life, but so many become parents. When today is my last day, I hope that my daughter can smile, and remember that day that we stopped for chocolate.

<<<Janice M. Wurtz is finance director for the Diocese of Covington A.C.U.E. Consortium and parishioner at Blessed Sacrament Church, Ft. Mitchell.>>>