Family Ministry Office at 1310 West Main Street, Lexington, KY 40508-2048 US - Crossoads Article from 9/13/2009
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Crossoads Article from 9/13/2009 |
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A few months ago, the second Mass reading included the controversial words of St. Paul to the Ephesians, “Wives, be subject to your husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands.”
This passage likely prompted some husbands to sit a little taller and give an elbow nudge to their wives, while some women felt the hair stand up on the back of their necks. Others, perhaps, dismissed the words, seeing them as relics of a bygone age and a misogynist author.
Small wonder, then, that the missal I held that Sunday morning had the controversial verses in brackets, giving parishes the option of choosing the “shorter” reading (wink, wink). And yet omitting these challenging words deprives us of the opportunity to consider a more authentic Christian understanding of St. Paul’s words, as opposed to the distorted interpretation that ascribes biblical license to male domination.
We might note, for instance, that the passage begins first with a command of mutual subjection between husband and wife: “Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ.”
Naturally, subjection is not something we readily embrace. The root meaning of the verb “subject” is to “throw under,” evoking the idea of being thrown under the bus. In our thinking, too much is at risk—our dignity, vulnerability, ego, etc.—to subject our well being to anyone.
And yet true love is inherently humbling. In fact, this chapter in Ephesians begins with a directive from St. Paul to “be imitators of God…and walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” Thus, if Jesus, who is God made flesh, “gave himself up for us,” our reverence for his subjection, St. Paul reasons, compels spouses to subject themselves to each other in conformity to Christ’s divine love.
Given the gender politics of St. Paul’s cultural setting, his call to mutual subjection serves as a “gospel innovation,” in the words of Pope John Paul the II, through which Christ restores the mutual dignity of spouses that has been lost through sin.
After all, male domination is not God’s design for humanity, but reflects the brokenness of sin, a breach Jesus came to heal. Thus, in Christ, spouses are redeemed and empowered for an authentic embodiment of love, one which involves mutual service through self-giving.
Equal dignity, however, does not imply “sameness,” as though there are no distinctions between husbands and wives, as St. Paul also makes clear, ascribing to husbands and wives their specific vocation within the economy of love.
Thus, the wife’s role is to “be subject” to her husband. But what does that mean, in light of Christ’s revelation of love? The synonym “submission,” which is used in some translations of Ephesians 5, can supply further insight here, as we see that a wife is to be literally “under the mission” of her husband.
And what is the mission of her husband? St. Paul writes, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the Church and handed himself over for her.” Plainly, the husband’s role is sacrificial self-giving, complete and without reservation, even to death, for the sake of his wife’s well being. Thus, a husband’s martial mission is shaped just like a crucifix.
As John Paul the Great said, ‘[T]he husband is above all, he who loves and the wife, on the other hand, is she who is loved.” Or as author Christopher West echoes, “When St. Paul calls wives to ‘submit’ to their husbands, he’s saying, ‘Wives, allow your husbands to serve you by pouring their lives in love and care for you.”
Of course, as indicated earlier, St. Paul’s urges a mutual subjection, indicating that the wife, upon freely receiving the self-giving love of her husband, pours her love back upon him through similar self-sacrifice. Thus, her mission symbol is a crucifix, too, but it’s a sacrifice freely chosen, and not imposed, doormat-style, upon her.
St. Paul’s inspired vision, then, calls spouses to reject power politics, but rather, by sacramental grace, to grow—even slowly and stumbling—toward a more authentic expression of Christ’s love. We would do well to remember this the next time this reading comes around.