Maternity B. V. M. Church at 9220 Old Bustleton Avenue, Philadelphia, PA 19115 US - Reconcilable Differences...A Pre-Cana Perspectve

Not long ago, I was talking to someone whose marriage had failed. Since he was a Catholic, I asked him if he had taken the Pre-Cana classes that are mandated by the Archdiocese of Philadelphia. Yes, he and his wife had taken the classes. “Did anything develop in your conversations as to differences between you both that were newly apparent,” I asked. “Oh, yes!” he answered, “but we just laughed about it and didn’t think that it was that important. Only later in our marriage did we learn better. We thought our love would solve any problems.” Often, major differences between a couple before marriage can manifest themselves after the knot is tied. Very often differences can be remedied through discussion and perhaps counseling. If not they may become irreconcilable in time. Such is the value of the Pre-Cana program. In the event that couples uncover overlooked problems in their relationship there is a mechanism for discussion and hopefully time to satisfy the problem. Communication is the lifeblood of marriage and the engagement period is the time to hone those skills so that both parties are open to each other as they begin their lives together. If couples can talk to each other, if they are willing to listen to each other and accept the other’s point of view and their concerns early on in their relationship, then they are off to a great start. This takes understanding, patience and compromise. While these qualities are basic to a good marriage, they can be developed before the “I do” and set the tone for the future.

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