My Father's House Spiritual Retreat Center at 39 North Moodus Road, Moodus, CT 06469 US - Sixteen Keys to Spiritual Vitality

When the wires are all down and all the central places of your heart are filled with the ice of cynicism and the snow of pessimism, then and only then have you grown old indeed. And may God perform on you the miracle He promised when He said, "Come unto me all you who labor and find life burdensome and I will refresh you" (Mt 11:28). Bid I remind you, it was an ancient psalmist named David over 90 years of age who wrote those immortal words of Judaic Christian tradition, "I will go unto the altar of God to the God who gives joy to my youth."

Originally, Dr. Johnson had discerned over 40 definite qualities in forever-young people. He reduced it to 20 when he gave seminars in local retirement centers and hospitals. And finally, into 12 qualities. I have added four more to make explicit what Dr. Johnson teaches.

Youthfulness

Youthfulness, therefore, is a certain quality of the mind, a certain vigor of the emotions, a predominance of courage over fear, and the love of adventure over the love of ease. Years may wrinkle the skin, but it’s only by giving up our God-given enthusiasm that we wrinkle our souls.

The First Key (Jesus)

The first and the most important key is a personal relationship with Jesus who says, "I’ve come to bring you life in all of its fullness" (Jn 10:10). Jesus is the long sought after fountain of youth. Those who wait upon Him shall ride as if on wings of eagles, they shall run but not grow weary, and walk and not grow faint (cf Isaiah 40:31). The more we allow the spirit of Christ to work in us and through us, the less burden we will be by our own sins, guilts, worries, fears, hatreds, doubts, and depressions.

The Second Key (The Eucharist)

The most vital source of life that Jesus gives us is the Eucharist. "With all of the earnestness I possess, I tell you this," said Christ, "unless you eat the flesh of the son of man and drink his blood you have no life in you. But he who eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life and I will raise him up on the last day" (Jn 6:50-52).

The Third Key (A Loving Family)

What Jesus has come to bring us on earth is family His way. Those who have a natural family that is loving and affirming will tend to be loving and affirming themselves. We simply pass on what we have received. Those who do not have a loving family or have lost significant members of their family must find new familial relationships -- people who really care for them.

The Fourth Key (Your Attitudes)

The degree to which you have successfully shifted your basic beliefs about aging -- or anything else -- from beliefs involving loss to beliefs involving heightened opportunities for spiritual development, the more positive will be your attitudes. We are meant by God to grow old gracefully and must see our lives as successive stages of maturity and development. The wise gentleman has mellowed with the vicissitudes of life as has the graceful lady. This comes with time and experience. Aging challenges us to remember that God uses our natural human condition as a teaching aid so that we can better learn the power of God ever more personally.

"Necessary Losses"

Life not only involves a hanging on, but also a letting go. We have to let go of youth, of health, of loved ones. Whenever God closes a door, He always opens another door, and most times, an even better one. We are to live in the here and now placing the past under the blood of Jesus, and the future in the hands of the Father. The symbol for this key is a doorknob. We must allow God to open new doors to our souls by developing new attitudes and new purposes.

The Fifth Key (Seek Love Everywhere)

The degree to which we strive to find God’s presence in everyone will be a key to real peace and true joy. We as Christians are meant to love everyone. This means that we have to handle indifference and loneliness, as well as hatred and bitterness. The symbol for this key is a marble. Imagine that each one of the six billion people on this planet does a hundred different things every day, each symbolized by a marble. Red marbles for good behavior and black marbles for bad behavior. How do you see the world? Primarily filled with red or black marbles? If we are persons open to love, it would not really make a difference, for like Mother Theresa, we would also love the unlovable, touch the untouchable, and forgive the unforgivable. She was a saint, precisely in that she sought love everywhere and saw Christ in everyone.

The Sixth Key (Delight in Connectedness)

The degree to which we can deeply share ourselves with others will be the extent to which we can find love and joy. As children, most of us were well connected. But as we grow older, there is a drift towards isolation. This can lead to self-absorption. We have to delight in those around us and to stay connected with the people who go in and out of our lives. The symbol for this key is a daisy -- a beautiful flower that exemplifies openness to love. The more our hearts are open to the sunshine of friendship, the more connected and happy we will be.

The Seventh Key (Live In The Now)

The degree to which we are aware of and can focus on our present reality will be the degree to which we can live in the now. A wise priest one time said, "If you want to be happy, be here, be you, and be now." In short, don’t live in the past, don’t try to be someone else, and don’t worry about the future. Jesus said, "The time is now, and now is the day of salvation." There is nothing you can do to change the past. There is very little you can do to bring about the future, but there is everything you can do to appreciate the now. Yesterday is a canceled check. Tomorrow is promised to no one. The only thing you have is right now. It is a special gift of God. That’s why we call it the present. Past thinking breeds guilt, future thinking breeds fear. Enjoy the present. It is in the now that we choose the spirit of Jesus over the spirit of the world, wakefulness over sleep, forgiveness over condemnation, love-finding over fault-finding, peace over turmoil, freedom over confinement, unity over separation, joy over fear, and meaning over meaninglessness. It is right now that we choose for truth over error, vision over blindness, being happy over being right, learning over existing, being of value over being worthless, Christ over darkness. You have to choose to live in the present moment. We are what we choose to be right now.

The Eighth Key (Accept Your True Self)

The degree to which we come to know our own genuine self in opposition to our more surface self will be the degree to which we are open to the Spirit. Thomas Merton wrote about what he called the true self and the false self. The true self he called the spirit self, the real self and the genuine self. The false self he called the ego self, the worldly self. Deep down in our spirits, each one is made to the image and likeness of God. There, in the central place of our hearts, the Spirit dwells and inspires.

Deep down, every one of us wants to be loving, kind, sensitive, and holy. That is the way that God has made us. However, there are false values far more materialistic and ego-centric that present themselves to our minds and hearts from the world, the flesh and evil spirits. God helps us to appreciate our deepest and truest self. It is always wrong to compare ourselves with anyone unfavorably to another. Just think, when you were conceived, out of all the possible yous that could have been but will never be, God chose you. You shall never be replaced for you are a unique, irreplaceable, incomparable masterpiece of God. The symbol of this key is the mirror, which reflects who you really are.

The Ninth Key (Forgiveness)

Jesus said that we are to forgive seventy times seven. When you realize that most people walk around with guilt and unforgiveness, you can readily see why so many grow old too soon. Jesus gave us the Sacrament of Reconciliation so that every time you go to confession, three awesome miracles take place. First, every bit of sin and guilt is washed away through the Blood of Jesus through the absolution of the priest. Second, all unforgiveness, bitterness and hatred is let go of. Third, you are given the awesome power to forgive yourself and get on with your life. Live under the blood, live in forgiveness and guilt, sin, bitterness, hatred, and unforgiveness will not take a great toll on your mind, heart and body. The symbol of this key is the bridge.

The Tenth Key (Let Go of Anger)

The Bible tells us never to let the sun go down on our anger. Anger of itself can be a very good emotion. We should be angry at sin and oppression. Jesus was. Anger ignited Him to do something about an evil situation. The same should be true of us. But anger can be expressed in sinful ways, as well. Rather than controlling our anger, we can allow anger to control us. The symbol of this key can be a boiling kettle with the lid on.

The Eleventh Key (Give Of Yourself To Others)

The more we do for others in a selfless manner motivated by love, the more we will maintain the spirit of youth. There is a wonderful man who comes to My Father’s House who’s nickname is Boozie. Everytime that Sr. Bernadette and I have seen Boozie, he is doing something for someone else. Boozie is one of the happiest people that we have met. Boozie not only has great faith and love, but also exercises them constantly for others. The Last Judgement is about feeding the hungry and giving drink to the thirsty and visiting the sick. True Christians do for others. The symbol of this key is a wrapped gift. We are called to be gift unwrapped for others.

The Twelfth Key (Celebrate Your Faith)

There is more to life than meets the eye. Jesus tells us that the Spirit of God is within us and that each person we meet is another Christ. He tells us that God is our Father who can be trusted with our worries and fears, our disappointments and our failures. He tells us that Mary is our Mother who will always bend low to answer our prayers. His Church teaches that the saints and angels are there to help us. Through the eyes of faith, we can see into the invisible but really real world of the Spirit. That is the world that Jesus calls the Kingdom of God. We can only enter this world and live in it by faith. The symbol for this key is the sailboat. Faith is to our spirituality what sails are to a sailboat, not a burden but a means of movement.

The Thirteenth Key (Discover The Deep Meaning of Life)

St. Paul prays, "May the eyes of your understanding be enlightened that you may see the hope to which you are called" (Eph 1:17). In a highly materialistic, hedonistic, and individualistic society, the youthful person perceives that what is really important is God and people; and not things and accomplishments. When the time of our particular sunset comes, our things and accomplishments won’t really matter a great deal. But the clarity and love with which we have loved others will speak with vitality of the great gift of God we have been for each other. The symbol of this key is a many splendored diamond.

The Fourteenth Key (Make Your Feelings Work For You)

The degree to which we can manage the negative emotional reactions to the events and relationships of our lives, the more young we shall stay. Our feelings will always find expression. A spiritually healthy person will always be able to express his or her emotions in a healthy and Christian way. We are not to stuff our feelings, but to control them. The Spirit of God teaches us how to deal with our feelings. First, feel them. Then name them. Then claim them. Tame them. Aim them. And explain them. Our feelings ask us to make decisions, decisions about what to believe, to perceive, to think, to feel, to decide, and to do. There is an old midwestern adage that goes, "Son, you don’t have a problem, you have a decision to make." Once we have learned to express our feelings in a healthy way, the more we will thank God that we are feeling beings. The symbol of this key is a bow and arrow. Used correctly, it can bring great good. Used incorrectly, it can do much harm.

The Fifteenth Key (Achieve Balance In Your Life)

Enlightened health care professionals have long espoused the concept of life balance, that is the harmonious integration of all areas of your life. The Greeks called it a sound mind and a sound body. Jesus teaches us to seek first the Kingdom of God and everything else will be added. The more we allow Jesus to work in us and through us with His wisdom, love and power, the more His Spirit of joy and youthful enthusiasm will invade the various arenas of our souls. The symbol for this key is a spinning top --more precisely, a plate spinning on top of a shaft, such as you may have seen at a circus. When your life is in balance, it takes very little energy to keep it going. Let’s look at six areas of our life and see if they are in balance. 1. Career or Ministry Life; 2. Family or Community Life; 3. Relationships Life; 4. Self Life; 5. Faith Life; 6. Leisure or Fun Life

The Sixteenth Key (Prayer)

Prayer is the beginning and end of everything. It is the means by which we allow the Spirit of God to enter into every aspect of our lives -- into our minds, emotions and our bodies, as well as our relationships. Jesus teaches us how to pray. He tells us first and foremost to spend a significant part of each day praising God. A person who praises God constantly will not be a negative person. Second, He teaches us to seek His plan. He helps us to realize that His heavenly Father has a beautiful, unfolding plan for our lives that He reveals step by step and moment by moment.

We have to learn to listen as He speaks to us from without and from within, through the persons and circumstances in our lives, but also through our thoughts and deepest intuitions. He teaches us to rely upon the providence of our heavenly Father, who gives us our daily bread and provides for all our needs. He teaches us to love and to forgive ourselves and others, and He promises us that He will warn us of impending danger for He leads us not into temptation, but delivers us from evil. The symbol of this key are the wings of the dove. If we cling to Jesus with the heart of a bride, and ride the winds of the Spirit with the wings of the dove, we will stay young at heart.

A Time for Everything

As the scriptures teach, there is a time to be born, a time to laugh, a time to study, a time to pray, and a time to cry. Love and life is like a many splendored thing. As the wise priest said, "I’ve learned the secret to holiness and happiness. When I laugh, I laugh. When I pray, I pray. And when I cry, I cry." I put myself completely into where I am at the moment. I pay attention to this flower, this person, this thought, this feeling, this movement of the Holy Spirit.