Our Lady of Consolation Catholic Church at 4865 11 Mile Rd NE, Rockford, MI 49341 US - Marriage
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Marriage |
Introduction
Welcome and Congratulations! Thank you for sharing the vocation of marriage with Our Lady of Consolation Church. The following guidelines are meant to assist you in understanding the Sacrament of Marriage in the Roman Catholic Church.
Theology of Marriage
Marriage is a Sacrament, an outward sign, instituted by Christ to give grace, by which divine life is dispensed to us by the work of the Holy Spirit. (Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC), nos. 1131, 774). One of the outward signs of marriage is the rings that are exchanged by the bride and groom as a sign of commitment to each other as they begin this new life in Christ united as husband and wife. Another sign is that of unity in the Sacrament of the Eucharist. As Catholics we are united by the Eucharist that we celebrate here in the local church of Rockford, MI and are united with the universal Church throughout the world.
God is the author of marriage, “God created man in his image; in the divine image he created him; male and female he created them. God blessed them, saying: ‘Be fertile and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it.’” (Genesis 1:27-28) God who created man and woman out of love also calls them to express that love with each other as husband and wife. “By its very nature conjugal love requires the inviolable fidelity of the spouses. This is the consequence of the gift of themselves which they make to each other. Love seeks to be definitive; it cannot be an arrangement “until further notice.” The “intimate union of marriage, as a mutual giving of two persons, and the good of the children, demand total fidelity from the spouses and require an unbreakable union between them.”(CCC, no 1646, GS 48 § 1.)
Holy Scripture affirms that man and woman were created for one another: “It is not good that the man should be alone.” (Gen 2:18) The woman, “flesh of his flesh,” his equal, his nearest in all things, is given to him by God as a “helpmate”; she thus represents God from whom comes our help. “Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and cleaves to his wife, and they become one flesh.” (Gen 2:24) The Lord himself shows that this signifies an unbreakable union of their two lives by recalling what the plan of the Creator had been “in the beginning”: “So they are no longer two, but one flesh.”
(CCC, no.1605).
God our Father has made the union of husband and wife so holy a mystery that it symbolizes the marriage of Christ and his Church. The Apostle Paul makes it clear when he says: “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her… For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one. This is a great mystery, but I speak in reference to Christ and the church.” (Eph 5:25-26, 31-32).
General Requirements
The Marriage Preparation Program
All couples wishing to enter into marriage are required to complete the parish preparation program. The preparation process is listed below.
1. Six Months Notice
During the six-month preparation period, couples will meet with the priest/deacon to prepare their pre-nuptial file---which includes: Diocesan Assessment forms, baptismal certificates, and any other particular documents that pertain to the situation of the couple. During this time frame couples will meet with the pastor/deacon to pray, learn and discuss the marriage covenant and the many concerns that apply to every marriage.
2. PMI-Premarital Inventory
All couples are required to take the PMI and review it either with the pastor or his delegate. This tool is offered to aid in self-discovery and measures the degree of compatibility of the couple in their relationship as it now exists. This tool is also a means of improving communication for the couple.
3. Pre-Cana/Engaged Encounter
All couples are required to attend a Pre-Cana/Engaged Encounter day or weekend. Please meet with the pastor for availability of dates and times for these sessions.
4. The Sacrament of Reconciliation
The Sacrament of Reconciliation is an integral part of life within the Church. OLC offers confessions weekly on Saturday from 3:30-4:30 pm or by appointment.
5. Scheduling The Wedding
The wedding date will be scheduled at the time the couple meets with the pastor. We recommend that you wait in scheduling reception halls, caterers, florists, print invitations, etc. until the date has been approved by the pastor. Weddings celebrated at OLC are held on Saturday at 2:00 pm. No later Saturday starting times are permitted due to other regularly scheduled liturgies. Weddings may be scheduled on Fridays and/or other days in the week except Sundays. Generally, weddings are not scheduled during the Season of Lent.
6. Documents
All couples must complete/provide the necessary documents:
Non-Parish Catholic Clergy
Priests/Deacons who are relatives or close friends of the party are welcomed to perform marriages at Our Lady of Consolation with delegation from the pastor. The priest or deacon must have the proper credentials and faculties to perform the ceremony at OLC.
Participation of Non-Catholic Clergy
It may be permissible to have the pastor/minister of the non-Catholic party participate in the wedding ceremony. The non-Catholic minister is allowed to read from the Scriptures, and bless the couple. The Catholic priest must be the one to receive the consent (vows). There can be no mixing of Catholic and non-Catholic ministers in the consent.
Priest/Deacon Stipend
No personal stipend (payment / gift) is required or expected for an OLC Parish priest or deacon. One may be given if you feel you would like to thank the presider for his efforts. However, if you have arranged for a non-parish priest/deacon to witness at your wedding, a stipend would normally be given (perhaps not if the priest is a close relative or friend, etc.). Depending on circumstances, a typical stipend for an outside priest / deacon would be approximately $150.00, in appreciation of his time and travel in preparation and during the wedding.
Fees
Fees for Sacraments are never required of parishioners of Our Lady of Consolation. However, a contribution may be given. Some couples wish to make a tithe of what is spent on their wedding. For those who have not been regularly supporting the parish, a fee of $300.00 is suggested. Checks should be made out to Our Lady of Consolation.
Rehearsal
All couples, together with their wedding party and any assisting ministers (readers & ushers) meet with the priest/deacon to rehearse the wedding ceremony. This is scheduled the evening before the wedding at 6:00 pm or at some time arranged by the party and the priest/deacon. This rehearsal time is not for the practice of music.
The Wedding Ceremony
Many remember their wedding day for a variety of reasons. We hope that one of the special and meaningful memories you will have is of the readings you choose, and the vows that you pledge to one another. Therefore, the Church urges you to carefully assist the priest and music director in the preparation of the liturgy. Keep in mind that while your wedding day will consist of many important moments, the liturgy is a moment of prayer...a time of praising God, asking His blessing, and making a public covenant with your partner.
Inter-Faith Marriages
When one of the parties is not Catholic, the Church recommends performing the Rite for Celebrating Marriage Outside of Mass. This is done in consideration and respect of the non-Catholic party and family members as well as our understanding of the Sacrament of the Eucharist.
Music for Your Wedding
Arrangements for all aspects of the music for the wedding ceremony must be made through consultation with the Music Director at OLC. To arrange a meeting with Mary Harkema, please contact her at the parish office at 616.866.0931. Ext. 202 at least 4-5 months prior to the wedding date. She will assist and approve your music selections, discuss the Music Director’s stipend and other possible fees for cantors or instrumentalists.
As you select music for your wedding ceremony, keep in mind this is a prayerful celebration. You have chosen to begin your married life in the context of worship. Other members of the community gather with you to offer praise and thanksgiving and to pray that God shower his blessings upon you. The music you select should foster and deepen this sense of prayer.
Music may be selected from the Gather Comprehensive Hymnal or Contemporary Christian Artists. Please refrain from selecting music from secular artists. Many secular artists have some beautiful and inspiring songs with appropriate lyrics, however the wedding ceremony is a sacred celebration and we desire that the music be reflective of this solemn occasion. We look forward to making your Sacrament of Marriage a prayerful experience through the gift of music.
Dress
While formal dress for bride, groom, and wedding party remains popular, it is not required. Whatever form of dress is chosen, it should reflect the norms of good taste and be appropriate for a sacramental wedding. (i.e. low cut dresses, dresses with no backs, etc. are not appropriate) Men may wear "Sunday attire" or tuxedo if preferred.
Bridal/Groomsmen Room
The Elizabeth Ann Seton Room/Cry Room serves as the bridal room. Groomsmen generally dress in the Guadalupe Room, located through the double doors adjacent to the restrooms. Food and drink may be consumed only in these rooms. All personal items should be taken with you after the wedding. Please make every effort to maintain the rooms in the same clean and orderly condition in which you found them.
Use of the Church Building
Decorating and other preparations for the wedding may begin no earlier than 2 hours before the ceremony is scheduled to begin. Couples are asked to designate a person from their group to clean up their materials after the wedding. A Saturday funeral could shorten this time, but the parish would know of a funeral generally 2–3 days in advance. We ask that the church be clear by 4:00 pm so that preparations can begin for the parish‘s regular Saturday 5:00 pm Mass.
Alcohol, Smoking, Food & Beverages
It should go without saying that smoking, drinking or eating are not allowed in the church/vestibule (gathering area). Please respect our No Smoking policy indoors. We have receptacles outdoors for smoking waste. No alcoholic beverages are permitted to be brought on the church property.
Photography/Video
Photographers and video recorders must understand and respect the reverent nature of this occasion. It is requested that, after the service has begun, pictures may be taken without bright flashes. Videos may be taken in areas designated by the celebrant. Pictures may be posed and taken before or after the ceremony. As a time frame, 1 1/2 hours are suggested for dressing and pictures before the wedding, and 1 hour after the ceremony; (i.e. for a 2:00 pm wedding, the church should be vacated by 4:00 pm) It might be helpful for your photographer to meet briefly with the priest/deacon before the ceremony.
Flowers
Live plants and cut flowers add life and beauty to the festive occasion. Plants or bouquets of flowers are permitted if placed so as to enhance the environment. Since Our Lady of Consolation Church is contemporary in design, the principle of "less is more" is a working philosophy. Flowers are not permitted on the altar. The flowers should be delivered to the church by noon of the wedding day so that there is sufficient time to arrange them. Pipe cleaners, rubber bands, or special "clamps" are to be used to attach ribbons to pews and exterior posts. NO TAPE.
If you have no need of your wedding flowers after the ceremony, the parish will gladly accept them for the weekend Masses.
Clean-up
If booklets and programs are used, the ushers are asked to pick them up after the ceremony. The church should be left in the same order as it was found before the wedding.
No rice, confetti, birdseed or similar substances may be thrown on the church property, sidewalks, entry, or in the church building before, during or after the wedding.
Due to liability concerns and safety concerns, aisle runners are not permitted at OLC.
Parish Prayer Note
We normally remember newly married couples in our bulletin the weekend of the wedding. In this way all our parishioners are encouraged to pray for couples as they begin
living their Sacrament of Marriage.
Conclusion
These policies are set forth to aid couples in the planning and preparation of their marriage. It is not the intent of the parish for couples to feel that heavy restrictions are being placed upon them. It is only our desire that the weddings celebrated at Our Lady of Consolation Parish reflect their true sacramental character and bring the joy and peace of Christ to all connected with the celebration.
The marriage commitment brings about the beginnings of a new family. This commitment is not only to each other but to the family of God. Couples who remain within our parish should register themselves as a new family. The couple is encouraged to become involved in parish life and incorporate a lifestyle of worship and service within the church community and beyond.
© Our Lady of Consolation Church
August 15, 2008