Servants of God's Love at 4399 Ford Rd., Ann Arbor, MI 48105 US - "Our Hearts are Restless 'Till They Rest in Thee"

Sr. Mary Ann receives her ring from Sr. Ann Shields

It's true you know, what St. Augustine said. I know it's true because I lived a very restless life until the Lord broke through all my barriers and pierced my heart. Many of us are restless in our 20's and 30's. We are searching for something (or lots of things), that we think and hope will make us happy. The only problem is, happiness is fleeting. It isn't meant to last, it isn't a permanent state of being and it can be very elusive. What I was really looking for was peace and joy, but I had no idea. For me, my 20's and 30's were spent in a constant state of seeking out happiness. I worked myself progressively harder each year to become more and more successful. Success brought many rewards: recognition, control and bigger paychecks among the most sought after by me. The bigger paychecks meant I didn't have to deny myself anything...nice clothes, nice car wonderful vacations to Europe and Hawaii-all were within my grasp and all brought me happiness-for a time. The older I got the more pressure I put on myself to be in a relationship. High school and college friends were getting married and having children. I made being in a relationship a priority. I look back now and see how ridiculous this all is. Trying to manufacture or buy happiness cannot work. But I had no idea what could work. Until the day the Lord decided He had had enough of my plans and my career and my ideas and decided to show me what He had in store for me. Through a series of unrelated circumstances both the relationship I was so invested in and the career I had given up everything for were in jeopardy. It eventually became apparent that neither were going to be a permanent part of my life. The thought of losing the things that truly meant the most to me was absolutely terrifying. And then the Lord intervened. In His great mercy, He used His secret weapon on me...His Mother. Through Mary, I came to know and experience unconditional love. Then, she gave me to her Son ,introduced me to her Spouse and brought me to the Father. And I found the joy I had been searching for my entire adult life. But I was still restless, why, I wondered, as I realized all that God had for me and reveled in the joy of a deepening relationship with Him, was I restless? I began spending more of my time praying. I loved the rosary because I love Mary so much. I became a Perpetual Adoration Adorer and I was Baptized in the Holy Spirit. I was filled to the brim with joy...why not peace? As I continued to turn to the Lord in prayer, I felt a deeper call. A real yearning was building in me to give everything, all I had, all I am, all I ever would be to the Lord. "But," I would ask myself, "what does that mean?" It meant that the Lord was drawing me ever deeper into an intimacy and a union with Him that I was very attracted to. I began to think about the Consecrated life and wonder if that was how to yield myself to the Lord more fully. I spent about 18 months taking my time researching and visiting communities. There are so many communities and so many charisms! But I wanted God to choose where I should "be planted" so to speak. It was sometimes frustrating, making plans, buying plane tickets, spending time with sisters from different communities and knowing at the end of the weekend, this wasn't the right place. Finally, in May of 1998 I came to Ann Arbor to visit The Servants of God's Love. I arrived on a Thursday late afternoon and went right to the Motherhouse. As the evening drew to a close, most all of the sisters went to bed. I sneaked down into the chapel. It was so peaceful to sit there in the presence of Jesus, knowing He had a plan for my life. Before I could even ask a question, as soon as I knelt before Him, He said, "Your heart is home." Ah, the peace. And He was right I was home. On Tuesday, September 14, 2004 I professed Final Vows to the Lord in the presence of our Superior and the Bishop of the Diocese of Lansing Michigan. Also present were my sisters, my family and our friends. First the joy, then the peace. My restless heart is home.

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